JennPunzalan.com

Posts Tagged ‘character’

Parents these days are so competitive. That includes me. We’ve been bombarded by the media with “winning is everything” slogans. We want our kids to win every spelling bee, singing contest and basketball game. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to win. We want our kids to always be motivated to win. But let’s not overlook the importance of our children’s attitude towards winning and towards their opponents.  They can have a mantle full of trophies but if they have lost the friends they’ve competed with because of their nasty attitude, then what is it really good for? Relationships are more important than trophies.

Below is a story that Janina’s Grade 5 Adviser shared with Paolo and me:

Janina with her friends, Betthia, Sofia, Cleyanne and Aya

“Go Cleyanne!” Janina’s voice was heard across the room as her friend stepped in front. It was the elimination round for the Linggo ng Wika singing contest, where Janina was also one of the contestants. “You can do it!” she cheered again, a huge grin plastered on her face. Cleyanne sang the Ryan Cayabyab classic, Kay Ganda ng Ating Musika. Toward the end of her song, she committed a mistake and slumped back to her seat.

“You did great!” Janina whispered to her as she reached her seat.

“I was horrible!” Cleyanne replied. She covered her face with her hands and bowed her head low. Janina went over and patted her friend on the shoulder.

What really stood out during the competition was how great Janina was as a friend. Though she was also a contestant herself, she didn’t become consumed with her own performance; instead, she chose to show her all out support for her friend, giving her comfort and encouragement. She is a great performer, but I believe that she’s even a greater friend.

Janina won that singing competition. But I am even happier that she won the hearts of the people around her.

Dear Jenn,

Could I ask you for a piece of advice? My daughter is already attending playgroup . I’m amazed at an early age that she learned a lot like eating independently, wearing her slippers properly, and a lot more things that an ordinary 2 year old cannot do yet. Today, her teacher spoke to me about my daughter beating her classmate. Honestly i don’t want to make excuses for my daughter though i told her teacher that she won’t hit anyone if she was not provoked but still I know that it’s wrong to hit or hurt someone. I was convicted of my actions. Because nowadays, I’ve been disciplining her too much. And sometimes because I have a lot on my plate, I really get impatient with her and shout at her. I can’t help but think that my own behavior has caused my daughter to be aggressive towards another. My husband told me to keep my daughter company first in the playgroup and if her behavior doesn’t improve, we will pull her out of playgroup first. Thank you very much!

From,
Mommy XX

Dear Mommy XX,

Playgroup is nice because it can bring out the best in our children. You saw how it brought out the best in your daughter… she learned to be independent and did all those great things a normal 2 yr old still couldn’t do. In the same breath, playgroup can also bring out the worst in them. When our kids are put in situations where they need to relate with other kids, their tendency to sin usually shows up. There will be situations that will push them to do what is wrong like grab toys, or push, or shout or hurt other kids. When your child does something wrong, DON’T OVER REACT. You don’t need to blow it up and feel so terrible about it because all kids make mistakes. Your child is not defined by one misbehavior. The important thing is you use the opportunity to teach her what is right and wrong. As your child gets older, you can start using opportunities like this one to teach her about man’s sinful nature and why we need Jesus to help us do the right thing.

As a mom too, there are times when i get so impatient with my kids. You don’t know how often that is. I have 4 remember? It is not always easy to discipline them the right way especially when we are so stressed. I’m glad my husband is here to partner with me too. When my kids misbehave, I also take time to evaluate my parenting because, you are right, the way we discipline them really has an effect on them. If God is exposing some things in your heart, then ask Him to help you make the necessary adjustments.  Apart from the grace of God, we really cannot do it the right way. Thank God He is always there to help us!

I hope this was helpful!

Jenn

I know my kids are not perfect. In fact, I’d be the first one to tell you that they are far from being perfect. But I still love to brag about them anyway. Below is a story that Ryan’s Grade 1 Adviser shared with Paolo and me:

Ryan with his classmate Reuben

I gave the class an assignment about “Animals and Their Young”. In class, I told the class to share and discuss their homework with their classmates. Most of the kids were busy sharing their work with one another and some of them were standing in front of me, waiting for their turn to ask me a question.

Ryan was one of those students. Suddenly, Reuben came to me and said, “Ms. Jas, nobody wants to share their homework with me.” He said these words with a gloomy face. When Ryan heard Reuben, he immediately turned to him and said, “Here, look at mine.”

He even explained what he did for his homework to Reuben. I saw a bright smile slowly forming on Reuben’s face.

Ryan put Reuben’s needs ahead of him. He recognized that Reuben needed someone to be with him and acted on it.

Ryan may still be small but he has done a lot of big, caring things for others.

Yesterday, some of you might have read on my Facebook status that I have written “So many things went wrong today, but still, God is good.” Top of the list was Ryan accidentally spilled water on their laptop. We immediately brought it to a Powermac service center, and found out that to have everything repaired will cost us more than P60,000! How ridiculous is that! But that’s not my point today

Things like these will test our character, our values and our priorities. Here is my husband’s insightful blog about the whole incident.

We were at a convenience store the other day with the kids. While I was getting the stuff I needed, I noticed Ryan standing by the magazine rack and he looked like he was shuffling and rearranging the magazines that were neatly stacked in rows. I gave him that glaring “what-are-you-doing!-leave-those-stuff-alone” look while walking quickly to where he was. As I was getting closer, I realized what he was doing. He was turning the magazines the other way, but not all the magazines, only those that had skimpily-clad women on the cover. He told me “It is not good for people to see these.”

I felt so proud of my little boy. At 6 years old, he understood what it meant to “guard your eyes.” One of the biggest challenges we parents face these days is how to protect our kids from images that can mar their innocence and purity. Whereas years ago, you would need to go to “adult stores” to see explicit material, now you just need to drive down our highways and there they are, left and right, and a million times magnified before our very eyes. It is sad that we’ve had to ask our kids many times to cover their eyes and turn away while in the car on the road because of those graphic, uncensored billboards that are supposed to advertise clothing brands, yet their models are hardly wearing any.

Our kids’ tiny minds will almost immediately soak up images they see, whether good or bad. We need to teach them to guard their eyes. They need to know when to look away, or flip the channel, or close a window in their computer. And we need to train them early. Or media will train them otherwise.

Job 31:1 “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.”